IGCSE Language Practice: Letter

Continuing with last entry about IGCSE this is a letter the strong independent woman I described should have written. Of course it's written by me.

Dear Sir or Madam,
I was recently a passenger on one of your tours. I read the brochure which promised a “captivating tour”, in a “magnificent mountain range”. However, let me tell you that the landscape is not the only thing tourists look for in a journey.
As far as the tourist area is concerned, it was a marvellous landscape, however the situation on the bus was extremely uncomfortable. There was luggage all over the place and no seatbelts. Seatbelts are a safety measure and the driver told us to “tell the office” about it. My purpose of the journey was to photograph bird life but we could not. The pace was too fast for us and other tourists. The rocks hut my feet and no one told is to bring food, so we starved to death. Me and my companion thought the bus driver -and coach- could have prepared something for later events.
As regards the staff in general I was truly disappointed. As to begin with, before even entering the awful bus they kept us waiting for several minutes and on the bus we had to wait for thirty minutes till it got on road. I went to the office to complain about this unwheeling situation and Starsky, he driver and coach was so rude the first time and then I saw him again with the wrong footwear for this rocky range. Moreover he was stubborn, immature and highly incomprehensive. He played heavy metal music out loud and not even bothering to ask if it disturbed us.
In my opinion, you should know who you are recruiting. An experienced, caring person can make a really successful bond. Additionally, if you would specify what to take in this kind of road trip it would make everyone's trip better. Also try to maintain the number of people and luggage as minimum as possible.
I hope this helps other tourists out,
                    Sincerely,
                           Elsie Clinch.